Mother Mary Comes to Me – by Arundhati Roy
Arundhati Roy is brutally honest in this book. She describes events exactly as they happened, without holding back. Her writing forces readers to reflect, judge, and challenge their own thoughts. The book is so compelling that I finished it quickly and immediately thought to share it with my sister—the first time I have ever done so. The characters felt deeply familiar, mirroring many people I have known in my own life.
I could strongly relate to the portrayal of her mother, Mary Roy, because my own mother was also a teacher—a strong, opinionated, and protective single woman who was the rock of our family. My uncle, too, reminded me of the dedicated, workaholic, and stubborn nature of Mary Roy described in the book.
From the very beginning, Mary Roy emerges as a formidable woman who built high walls around her emotions. She had a sharp tongue that she used like a sword—cutting through opposition while fiercely defending herself, her values, and the world she had created. She founded Pallikoodam school from scratch and fought tirelessly for her students and the progressive values she stood for. One particularly inspiring incident was her long legal battle with her brother over inheritance. She took the case all the way to the Supreme Court and won half the share of the property—a remarkable judgment for its time. She even evicted her brother from the house, confronted the local Syrian church in various occasions, and continued running her school successfully despite all opposition. As the book begins, Mary Roy never believed in simply saying “NEVER LET IT BE.”
Arundhati Roy draws her own grit, determination, and perseverance from her mother. In her childhood, Arundhati hated the restrictive world around her and found solace by escaping to the river to cope with the constant conflicts at home. She felt helpless and lacked the courage to rebel. As a teenager, she struggled in a society when she moved to Delhi as a single young woman to study architecture and live independently. There, she found a friend in Pradip, got married, and later divorced—all on amicable terms - where the society finds hard to digest.
Her father was largely absent from her life; she learned about him only through her brother, who tracked him down while she is in Delhi. She discovered that he had lived an irresponsible life marked by addiction.
After the massive success of her debut novel, The God of Small Things, Arundhati met her mother again after seven long years. Her mother quietly appreciated and boasted about her daughter’s achievements but could never praise her directly to her face.
Throughout her life, Arundhati remained involved in activism, including the Narmada Bachao Andolan and issues involving Naxals in Odisha. She wrote sharp, unsparing articles criticizing governance, political failures, and the judiciary. She visited her mother at infrequent intervals, gradually reconnecting with her daily life and the school operations, where Mary Roy ran things like a boss—with passion and an iron fist which she called her a GANGSTER.
Even as her health deteriorated due to asthma, Mary Roy refused to loosen her grip on the school. She stayed deeply involved in decisions despite her illness and successfully navigated the challenges of the Covid period. Arundhati describes her own fears about her mother’s health risks during this time with raw emotion.
Mary Roy passed away in 2022. Her death created ripples across Kerala, with large numbers of people coming to pay their respects—something Arundhati had not anticipated the scale of people her mother influenced. A memorial was built, and the headstone reads: “MARY ROY – DREAMER, WARRIOR, TEACHER – FOUNDER PALLIKOODAM.”
In the end, Arundhati and her brother fondly remember the lighter moments spent with their mother, many of which Mary herself had viewed differently. They continue to feel her presence in the now-empty spaces of the home they are slowly rebuilding.
There are many powerful moments in the book that cannot be captured in a review; they must be experienced page by page, with all their emotional depth and context. One part of me deeply loved both Arundhati and her mother, while another part felt scared by their raw, uncompromising approach to life—paying little heed to society, religion, or convention. Arundhati admits she inherited her mother’s mix of softness, stubbornness, and anger. She began by hating her mother intensely but ended up loving her deeply, especially while supporting her through tough times. The most touching moment is when the tough Mary Roy finally tells Arundhati that she loves her through a text on her mobile. That line sank straight into my heart.
This is a must-read.
